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How to Attract Women

Online Dating Advice

The problem with recently divorced single parents
is that are waiting too long to start dating
again, complaining they are oh, so busy. The real
reason is their fears, because their previous
situation was usually so ugly, they don’t have a
strong enough ego to let rejections roll off
their back.

Even if they are starting to date, in most cases
are doing this for the wrong reasons. Some single
parents think they are in competition with their
ex, particularly if they were left for a younger
partner. They also might be playing a game to
prove to the ex that they are desirable by dating
as many people as possible. In a nutshell, don’t
date for emotional revenge, to allay feelings of
loneliness or to prove your desirability to
others.

After a divorce, both parties are tented to
change partners almost every week or month and
are not in the mood to compromise with somebody.

But after a while especially single fathers are
feeling the need to have a life partner and a
mother for their children.

If you are a single father and you are determined
to find someone for a long time relationship you
have to be sure that you are making the best
choice because now you are not alone, you are
making the choice not only for you but for your
children too.

There are some gold rules to consider that can
help you to find the best mom for your children
and the best lover for you:

1. As there is no surer turn-off for a potential
lover than a person who insists on living in the
past, make a rule for yourself that you are going
to do your absolute best not to drag the past
into new relationships.

2. Your kids are the priority of your life; keep
them there no matter what!

3. You have been careful to prepare your kids for
the fact that you will have a life other than the
one with them. But don’t forget to make them
understand that they will not lose your love,
just some of your time together.

4. Chose to date only women that have at least
one kid already. A woman without children will
not understand you and your children needs and
will not have too much patience. Don’t forget
that children are the best when it is about to
exasperate somebody, and in the first stage your
new date will be like a target for your kids jest.

5. Don’t leave your partner to baby-sit. In order
to keep children safe, it is necessary to be able
to discipline them. It is too soon for your
partner to discipline your children.

6. In conflict situation try to put yourself in
your partner place, be diplomatic with your child
and try to be impartial. Find the golden mean to
resolve the problems between them.

7. Never chose your mate only because she is
getting on well with your child. You have to find
someone FOR YOU and YOUR CHILD. Remember that the
best for your children is and will ever be their
natural mum, the women you just have divorced (
for some good reasons I believe). So find a woman
that you are attracted to, a woman you find
interesting AND that is willing to accept your
children too.

8. Pay attention to her children too, and never
forget that they are the priority of her life.

Dating Tips

Reality. You say one lie (that you are bold-faced aware you are saying), and you have just changed the game. You now have to keep track of the lie, never forget it, and know that that lie is what part of your potential relationship is now based on. For she will believe you. And one day, if you are both lucky enough to get involved, she will find out. And she will dump your ass. Or do a LOT of haranguing and how-could-yous.

In the same respect as you will be yourselfnervous if you are nervous (some girls find that adorable); clumsy if you are clumsy (some girls find this endearing)you will also remember that the girl you seek to impress might not be the one for youno matter how close a next-door neighbor she is or how many years you all went to the same football games and movies. Do not bother bartering above your station if she is not the type to date your type.

Confidence. Dont think yourself unworthy of every woman who walks into study hall, either. Try, please, TRY to strike a healthy balance between Ah, me, (ala Eyore) and the cock of the walk. We do not know how to handle either of you. WE dont know what to do with a whimpering oneother than play armchair psychologistand we dont know how to act around an egotistother than to giggle NERVOUSLY, as in DANGER to our self-preservation instincts, which are telling us to run.

Interests. Have interests other than guns. Talk about something besides your Nazi swastika collection. In fact, if you are a skinhead or neo-Nazi, you may have other things on your mind besides how to seduce women. So ignore this article, wont you? When you ask her questions, for Gods sakeor yoursLISTEN to the answer. Dont look at her boobs. Dont keep saying uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Interact.

Health. The studies show that we are attracted to the body and face that represents the optimum reproductive abilities and features. That is, white teeth, symmetrical shapes, etc., are not consciously sought after but certainly part of the search. Brush, bathe, shave, etc.. And smell good. Whatever that means.

Fairness. Do not put her on some Madonna (or Madonna/whore combo) pedestal. She is not Angelina Jolie. She is not your mother. She wont make love to you forty times a week. She wont cook for you or jump up from her studies to do the dishes if you demand it, expect it, or insist that Mommy always did it for you. If you are just meeting her, dont tell her how much you adore your mother or how many nights a week Mom comes along on dates with you. In fact, if youre an actual Mommys Boy, dont even bother reading this.

Positivity. Whatever You do, do not fake joy and sunshine and lollipops if your favorite pet just died, but try to see something good in every person you meet, not just the one that your biology cannot ignore. Try to see, especially, some good in yourself. Smiling and jokes are often great bonding mechanisms. So is Hello.

Why Do People Go Online Dating

There are 3 things involved in duplicating success.

* Beliefs
* Mental states
* mental strategies

If you duplicate these the way somebody you wish to be like you’ll have the same type of results.

This can be a difficult task for some because they can not duplicate their experience. I believe that you can. Two people can have the exact same experience and produce entirely different results.

Why is this?

It’s not the experience that is important but how somebody filters that experience and through these filters remembers it.

How the experts filter their experiences is the key to duplicating success. You can duplicate almost anybody’s success in almost anything , picking up women, athletic ability, running a business etc…

Most of the experts aren’t fully aware of what they do. You conscious mind (which is what you are aware in the present tense) is usually concerned with what you can not do well.

Your unconscious mind is which is everything else in your mind.. is in control of everything you do well.

A great example is think about learning to drive. At first you had to put ALL your concentration on it.. Remember getting behind that wheel with somebody else as they turned pale white from fear??

Now if you’ve been driving for a few months/years…you can listen to the radio, talk on your cellphone, eat some fast food in your lap and it won’t do much to your driving ability because it’s unconscious..

When I talked about the experts not usually fully aware think about the car example above. Now imagine if you had no muscle/kinesthetic feedback while driving. (that pull of your arm while turning the wheel) or something… but only visual. It could be done…but would take another few times to get used to that.

Now Beliefs are the main factors of how we filter info..

They are the Matrix. How we percieve reality.

What you get out of life is heavily dependant on what your unconscious beliefs are.

Think about the top snipers in the military.

They might have some beliefs like

* Shooting well is important for survival
* Hunting is fun
* Mental rehearsal is important to successful performance
* If I don’t hit my target, it has to do with my performance

Now take the new recruits in the military who are kinda afraid of guns.

They could have some beliefs like

* Guns are evil; they kill people
* THis gun is loud when I shoot it and I can lose my hearing
* If I miss my target my gun is misaligned

Now think just on beliefs alone why the top shooters were better than the new recruits.

Let’s talk about some of the beliefs of top seducers..

* It’s not about being rude to other people, it’s about being nice to yourself
* The strongest frame always wins
* It’s my world I can do whatever I want
* It’s my way, my way or the highway
* Personal space doesn’t exist
* Women want men by default
* I am attractive
* I am skilled at seduction
* Always be comfortable in things that you do
* Everything is an indication of interest
* Your limitations are just your beliefs
* Women are friendly
* Nobody is watching me do this pickup
* Women LOVE sex
* women are fun
* I am HER type
* I will make her day by talking with her
* I have all the seduction tools/techniques and beliefs I need
* It’s easy to connect with others

Now think about some of the beliefs I’ve been pointing out to others on this board..

How many of the above do you find yourself arguing with?

Think about it

Think about a workshop/ ebook /message board or anywhere you’ve gotten information where you learned about seduction. Did the teacher teach you his beliefs?

Some of their “techniques” might have been taught due to his belief system.(and they might not have been either) But he probably didn’t teach his most important beliefs.

In addition you probably rejected a few beliefs–the ones that crashed with yours. Yet without sharing the beliefs of the person you wish to have the same success as you will never be able to get the same results.

Coping With the Paradox of Online Dating

Sometimes the first thing guys want to do when they meet a girl is show her that they understand GAME.

They’ll start talking about evolution, alpha males, how girls will always cheat on their boyfriends, how they know girls like intimacy more than guys etc.

From now on, I will refer to this nonsense as “The Talk of Death”.

Let me explain why, and also give you a very counter-intuitive idea of what to do instead.

The kinds of things we learn in pick-up generally make very poor conversation topics with women. Especially hot ones.

It might work with the social anthropologist grad student, but to the girl that any man in his right mind would be attracted to, there are a few major things wrong with this strategy:

(BTW – if you do happen to run into a girl that loves this kind of stuff, by all means talk about it, I’m just saying it should not be used as an ATTRACTION strategy for most of the female population)

1. It puts her on the defensive. It’s exactly like one country revealing it’s battle plans to another country that it is at war with.

It shows that you are “thinking too much” about the dynamic, which not only is a huge turn off, but also makes her think you’re going to be a mind-trip. Not good.

2. Chances are, her awareness level is about 10% of yours.

Especially if you’re keeping up on my newsletters.

This is a concept called “Stepped Awareness”.

Have you ever tried played a song you LOVED for a friend and they just didn’t get it?

It’s because their awareness didn’t go through the same process that yours had – and resulted in you really liking the song…

To a girl who spends the majority of her time thinking about new shoes, celebrities and her problems with her boss, your talk about “the unique mating patters of the bonobo apes and how it relates to girls in the club” is just too alien and weird for her.

This is the same reason why you’ll sometimes see the biggest AFC ever with a smoking hot girl. He’s normal, and she can easily introduce him to her friends without embarrassment!

3. To a girl that DOES understand it; you talking about it make it seem like a big deal, when it should be plainly obvious.

5-10% of women actually DO get this stuff. It’s obvious, intuitive and accepted for them.

These women tend to also like women, capable of open relationships, and generally a lot of fun.

But here’s the thing – the guys they end up dating ALSO get this stuff intuitively.

And when you get something intuitively, you’ll never go out of your way to convince another person of it, or explain it like it’s some huge revelation!

So the minute you do, the girls who are most eligible for the lifestyle you’re looking for, will automatically disqualify you.

So… What to do instead?

Well – one of the most powerful techniques I use is this:

**Understand society’s programming, understand her specific programming, and appear to be under the exact same programming.**

Keep your knowledge of REALITY to yourself (and of course, if you figure out anything amazing, I would appreciate it if you share it on my forum as well)

You’re going to see a big difference in your game.

And I want to be part of it.

Tips on Dating After Divorce

First lets take out the 7-10 story ideas and cut them down to 5 solid ideas, cross off ones that you think may not seem to interesting to other people or ones that were “you kind of had to be there” stories.

Now that you got 5 solid ideas down we are going to just focus on constructing 3 solid stories so you can go out and start using them immediately.

To narrow it down, reflect on these 5 stories, which ones do you have the most emotional connection too, which ones do you feel the most interested in sharing with other people and which ones do you think could captivate and relate to your audience.

For now, your main demographic with these stories is women, so focus on which ones you think a woman is more interested in hearing. (Any women can become interested in any story if delivered properly, but if you have a good story about you watching dirty videos and eating pizza, it may be better left for the guys)

Also feel free to ask your friends about which story subjects they would be more interested in hearing to help narrow it down to 3 solid concepts.

And of course I’m sure there were still some of you out there that were to modest to come up with 10 ideas and only got around three, so I guess that makes your job easier.

I said I would do this exercise along with you, however, critiquing all 3 of my stories will take too long so we are just going to use one of my story concepts and build it from the ground up through the techniques I show you.

Now I am going to try to discard all the information on storytelling that I know and jot this story down from scratch (This actually happened to me the other day, so I figure this is a prime example)

“So the other day I am at club voodoo with my friends and I am going around making some new friends and having a good time. Well this one guy somehow works his way into my group but then ends up not leaving us alone all night, and he was a really annoying person that you just don’t want to talk to. He kept making every interaction in the club awkward and would not leave until he actually gets a hint and goes home.”

Okay, pretty annoying story…I know, but we can turn this into something awesome.

First we need to understand the 3 components of a good story.

The first component, is “The Hook Question”

The object of the hook question is to make sure everyone in the group you are telling the story gets involved.

You use the hook question to captivate the group and the hook question is the line you deliver to introduce your story.

When using the hook question make sure you have the attention of EVERYONE in the group before you start going into the story, if one person is not paying attention and they tune in halfway through your story, they are going to have no idea what is going and potentially pull the entire group away.

Make eye contact and get a response or at least a nod from every member of the group before beginning your story.

There are two different types of hook questions.

An open ended hook question and a yes or no hook question.

I feel open ended hook question are better because it gets your audience more involved with the story you are about to tell, but a yes or no one is good cause it gets you right into the story.

So a possible open ended hook question for my story would be “How do you deal with people who you just want to leave you alone?”

A possible yes or no hook question would be “Have you ever been to club voodoo?”

So let’s add this to the story… (Find a hook question for your example stories as well)

I like open ended hook questions more so to start my story in the interaction I would say

Me: “Hey guys…how do you deal with people when you just can’t get them to leave you alone?!”

Group: “blah blah”

Me: “Yeah that’s interesting so check this out…the other day I am at club voodoo…(rest of story)

Now that you have the hook question down, we are going to rewrite our stories to demonstrate aspects of identity because the next step is to demonstrate personality.

There are a number of ways of doing this but for now lets go to our list of 5 things that you want to convey in your identity. Try to fit as many into the story as you can.

My 5 things were:

I am a musician
I am a very social person
I have a high and fun energy
I have a good sense of humor
I am interested in video and photography

Now you want to try to at least fit 3 of your 5 things into the story, but if its awkward and seems out of place then just get at least 1 or 2 in. You need one though, but the very manner you deliver the story may convey a lot about yourself.

Other ways to convey personality is to act out your characters. Bring them to life in your stories.

Another important aspect to expressing personality in your stories is by speeding up your voice during moments of excitement and slowing it down during more intense moments to create tension.

You should always have tension build up to excitement or your audience will have a feeling of lack of resolution but that is the last component of a story that I will get into shortly.

Speeding up, pauses, and slowing your voice down is hard for me to sow you through a newsletter, but when you recite your stories out loud you will gain a natural since of where each belongs and will improve through reactions with your audience.

So now I am going to rewrite my story as it stands to convey my personality…

Me: “Hey guys…how do you deal with people when you just caaaaannt (exaggerated can’t to show frustration with the situation and convey more personality) get them to leave you alone?!”

Group: “blah blah”

Me: “Yeah that’s interesting so check this out…the other day I am at club voodoo and I walk in with a group of my friends and random people we met on the way (social) and there is a decent amount of people in the club, we are all having a great time (fun) and meeting lots of cool new people (social).

Well this one guy somehow works his into my “group” (putting finger quotes around it) and he just has this vibe. Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo (Painting this scene gets them laughing and displays humor and some understand of social norms and fashion.)

So my friends and I keep trying to away from him but he just won’t back down, he would just follow us everywhere we went, buzzing around like a mosquito..(pause)..with a really bad taste in clothing (humor)…you would think he could get the hint when we were practically jogging away (act out slight jogging motion).

Eventually he finally goes away and we start to have a fun night again.

As you can see, the story starts to build up but it has no resolution, it just kind of ends.

The last component of story is the punch line. A punch line is often used for humor and ties up the story. Its biggest importance is to let the audience know it’s over. It can be one line or much more…

To successfully deliver the punch line to your story, you need to create a dramatic build up by slowing down your words and then once the comic relief or resolution comes, you speed the conversation back up.

The punch line can be a small extension of the story to bring further resolution to the issue. This is where you can get creative and give some lamer stories a much cooler ending.

The actual ending to my story involves the creepy guy going into the bathroom, some guy that was annoyed by him jokingly bumping into him while the creepy was using the urinal, and the creepy guy pissed on the front of his pants, got embarrassed and left.

Now, first off, it was kind of rude on that one guy’s part and I don’t want to associate myself with friends like that. Also…a guy pissing on himself is an odd thing to share during the initial interaction.

So I am going to do a little story morphing by combining a similar, less gross incident that happened that night.

Nothing wrong with changing up some incidents if it makes things more entertaining…after all…it’s a “STORY”

So the updated story with the new punch line now goes:

Me: “Hey guys…how do you deal with people when you just caaaaannt get them to leave you alone?!”

Group: “blah blah”

Me: “Yeah that’s interesting so check this out…the other day I am at Club Voodoo and I walk in with a group of my friends and random people we met on the way and there is a decent amount of people in the club, we are all having a great time and meeting lots of cool new people. Well this one guy somehow works his into my “group” and he just has this vibe. Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo. So my friends and I keep trying to avoid him but he just won’t back down, he would just follow us everywhere we went, buzzing around like a mosquito…with a really bad taste in clothing…you would think he could get the hint when we were practically jogging away. Anyway…my friends and I get away from him and are on the top floor and we make a super tall pyramid out of energy drink cans. (Illustrate structure with arms). Then all of a sudden, the creepy guy weasels his way onto the floor and sits down at our table…and like a jackass he tries to add a can to the structure. (Start slowing things down for the punch line) Little did he know…that although the Red Bull on the top of the structure was opened…it was full…so this guy tries to add his can to the top then BAM!……………….the whole structure falls right into his lap and the filled soda can pours all over his crotch! It looked like he wet his pants! His face turns beat red and he just runs downstairs and we assume he left the club cause we didn’t see him again…I don’t know what the big deal is…I thought it was hilarious! (Final punch line, they know the story is over)

Now if you have done these three steps to your stories, you got some great stuff on your hands.

HOWEVER….there is still a few more sprinkles you are going to want to add to your story sunday.

These things are the secret little tips of successful storytelling.

The first and most important is creating check in points.

Check in points are mini questions you throw into your story throughout to make sure you have the audiences full attention. It gets them more involved.

Examples are “That ever happen to you?” “Don’t you hate when that happens?” “You know what I mean?”

Just make sure they are not obvious and sounding like you are taking time out for them to go into detail about your check in point question.

Another good way to check in is to compare aspects of your story to the current situation you are in. ex. “Kind of like that over there” “Reminds me of her (point to person).”

You should at least have two check in points near the start and in the middle. If you are doing everything right, your audience will be captivated and waiting for the build up of the punch line so you won’t need one near the end.

If you start to see someone looking away, throw one out to regain focus.

An example in a passage of my story would be:

“Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo. You know when someone is clearly just lost and not sure what he or she is doing….kind of like that guy over there (point to someone similar).”

You don’t always need a full response with your check in points. A nod is perfectly okay when regaining focus of the audience.

Better Dating

The idea of online dating sounds interesting and very welcome in the modern.It’s just sitting at the comfort of your desk with a computer and there you are the world is open for you. It is not without its dangers. More and more cases of sex pests, pedophiles and many other otherwise social evils are reported on daily basis.

Before developing intimacy with someone you meet on the internet, you may be forced to rethink your moves and the necessary precaution you need to take so that you don’t become a victim of situations .rethink about your moves, situations and the other options available. It may occur to you that the person may be married already, looking for some extra fun on the side; in this kind of a situation you only end up feeling wasted and disappointed for having wasted your feelings on people who have no space for you legally in their lives. With intentions of varying nature, women all over are running scams against men. They pretend to be attracted to them and ask for financial favors. They disappear the moment their financial desire is quenched.

The person you are chatting could be anything you can imagine .There are all sorts of online scammers. remember, you don’t know them personally! Single mothers have become victims of pedophiles on the net who they meet online in the name of dating and end up messing their families.All this has been been heavily published and in the local and international dailies. Needless to say we have all heard of the rampant cases of date rapes and even kidnappings occurring when people meet strangers they thought they knew well from the internet. With people like this lurking everywhere on the internet, it is imperative that users be aware of measures to avert possible dangers. Some of these measures include:

1)Listen carefully to your instinct. if your your conscious is clear go on, otherwise stop and forget the whole issue.your instinct is always right you can not go wrong this way.

2) Take your time before giving your mobile no. and residential addresses.

3) Meet in public places,where you find so many people such that in case of anything you can control the situation or raise an alarm

4) Do not give your personal contact details e.g. telephone numbers (even cellphone numbers), addresses etc. With todays technology finding somebody through a phone number is a matter of only a few clicks over a period of several seconds.

5) Learn some self defense skills. You might be accosted physically and these will come in handy.

6) Do not talk about your kids online, post their pictures or divulge any information about them, say for example what school they attend and the likes.

7) When going out on a date for the with someone you met online, ensure that you meet in a public place at a “safe”

A New Era – Dating Websites

Virtual reality and artificial intelligence nowadays solve problems that we find almost impossible to solve in real life. One of the problems that is being solved expertly on the great world wide web is that of creating well matched couples and finding people perfect partners. In case you are also looking for a relationship, but cannot seem to find someone who suits your taste, then joining and searching through internet dating sites might turn out to be a good option for you.

A few dos and donts that should help you in getting the optimum results out of your forays on internet dating sites are given below.

First and foremost, find dating sites that cater to your kind of people. Different people have different tastes, hobbies, interests and sexual inclinations. So, if you cannot think of a partner or date who does not share your interest in dancing, then make sure that you log on to a dating site that specially caters to people who love dance. Similarly, if you are gay or lesbian, then a dating site catering specially towards homosexual dating may carry more profiles of interest to you than a regular dating site. However, most good dating websites carry loads and loads of profiles which you can sort through on the basis of a number of criteria in order to find your perfect matches.

Once you have decided which dating sites you want to be a member of, then create a nice, informative and friendly profile. Your name, age and geographical location does matter, but most people would dither from going on a blind date with just Tom,29,Washington. Therefore it is important that you fill in as many details about your profession, education, interests, activities and hobbies as possible, so that people with similar interests can find you easily.

A picture speaks more than a thousand words! If this fact was not true, then this statement would not have made it through centuries and centuries of linguistic evolution. So make sure that you put in a good picture of yours on your profile. If you are really shy and do not want everybody in the world to know what you look like, then you can also put in a movie star or cartoon character that you think resembles you the most. You can also put in an Avatar, but try to make sure that that the people who date you do not think you are someone else unless you are on the dating site for the sole purpose of fooling people.

Your profile is your one and only introduction to a large number of strangers who could become close friends given the right kind of encouragement. So make sure that your profile is written in correct language, is easy to read and is not full of grammatical and spelling mistakes. Putting profanities and peculiar slang on your profile is also a big no no, unless you are posting it on an adults only site. Similarly ,refrain from putting vulgar pictures or snaps of your privates unless you are on a site where everybody else has done the same thing.